July 31, 2012
It is the evening before Creighton and I start a trip we have been talking about for years. Creighton has spent many days and nights in the Winds for extended lengths and has gone many of the summers I have known him these past 7 years. The planning, the preparation, the packing and repacking, the shopping, and the travel is so close to finally ending and the actual trip beginning. We will hike in tomorrow carrying all the gear and all the food we will need for 15 days and 14 nights. I will journal every evening and take lots of pictures.
In so many ways, this feels like the culmination of almost two years of hiking every weekend but really 6 years of backpacking and hiking. I have the right gear, have the experience carrying my pack, have a better level of fitness than I have had in years, and have the knowledge of how to properly use what I bring. All that being said, I am nervous. The next two weeks will be a test, a test to see if I really do love being outside as much as I claim. If I pass, I am not confident I will be able to leave a life of wilderness living behind. It will be the dream that will compel and drive every action and choice in my life. It may not even be a test; it might just be a confirmation of what I already believe is true.
August 9th, 2012
Since seeing Bonney Pass from the day hike on 8/5 I have felt intimidated. From below the Gooseneck Pinacle the pass looked like a straight drop off. In the past two days, I have gone up and over 2 12,500 ft passes with a heavy full-on pack. We left camp around 11 am this morning to scout Bonney Pass with day packs. It took me three hours, but I am sitting on the top of an almost 13,000 ft pass, looking straight at Gannett and all sorts of rugged peaks and ridges to excite the eyes. The Winds are an amazing place. I am continually blown away by their beauty. As Creighton has said before, they also demand attention. There have been a few steps, especially from big boulder to boulder, where I easily could have broken a leg or ankle. It would take days before I could get help in some of these areas too.
As with so many hikes over the last year and 49 weeks, I learn so much when I am out here. But this trip has been different. I think it has a lot to do with the fact I've never been out this long before. I think before this trip my longest time in the backcounty was 9 days and 8 nights. Today is the 9th day and since I am not hiking out as I write this, I guess this moment marks the longest I've been out. And every moment from here on out will be the same.
It is hard to put into words exactly what I've learned too. There are technical skills: boulder hopping, rock scree climbing, climbing up a big pass, boulder hangs for food, backcountry laundry, foot care (or lack thereof), etc. But any hiker, climber, or backpacker knows there is something deep that changes that gets changed by your time out here. For the first few days, I felt in a funk. It wasn't until walking into camp on 8/4 after my pity party 100 yards from camp that something shifted. There is something about having 14 days to let the layers of my psyche be chipped away by the same forces that have crafted this beautiful landscape.
I guess that is why I keep hiking. The forces of nature chip and erode away mountains, forests, meadows, and drainages, leaving behind a masterpiece no human can compete with. I think we as people have removed ourselves too far from these same forces. I walk in the backcountry to be shaped by the same force that shape the most beautiful landscapes in the world. Maybe if I keep going, I too can be as beautiful and serene as the landscapes that have touched my soul these past 102 weeks.
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